he has arrived!!! our little bundle of joy has made his tough journey into the world and blessed us with his perfect little presence. we could not be happier. seriously. before i go on, i must share a picture.
the name was chosen long before he was even a glimpse. we fell in love with it while we still lived in tennessee, and fortunately, it stuck. his middle name is that of my dear father-in-law, who passed away suddenly this summer. he was absolutely ecstatic to find out about his first grandchild. it seemed perfect that his name was included. he would have been honored, and he would have cried when he met him. i know this.
being a mother has taken it’s toll on me- mostly my emotions. i cry over literally nothing. i sobbed when the pediatrician told me i wasn’t feeding him enough. i cried when he puked all over tyler, after we tried to feed him more than we already were. 3 times. i cry when i look at him, when i hold him, when he smiles, when he wimpers. i cry when i think about all the babies who aren’t loved and i can’t imagine how someone could NOT love their baby. until i was a mother, i never understood the deep, inexplicable love you immediately have for this little one. i also never understood how much they change your entire life. people always say that, and you spend 9 months worrying if you will miss your old life. if you will miss date nights with your husband, or cuddling, or being able to leave the house at the drop of a hat. and i’m sure i will want a date night, and cuddling will never quite be the same, and i will be flustered and frustrated for the next 20 years with how long it takes to get everyone out the door. but i don’t miss my old life. not for a second. once this happens, it’s impossible to look back. i can’t even remember what it was like to not have him in our lives. he has brought with him stress and anxiety, but mostly, pure simple joy. unrequited love. i can’t imagine not being a mother. this is what i was made to do. when God fearfully and wonderfully made me, He made me to do this. and i can’t wait to see what He made Graham to be.
also amazing is the love i now have for my husband. watching him take care of Graham is quite possibly the sweetest [and sexiest] thing ever. there is something incredibly manly about it. he’s so comfortable with it. he doesn’t get anxiety like i do. he’s been a wonderful father and i can’t imagine doing this with out him. i am so blessed. truly. and i can’t wait to see their father/son relationship grow. oh, the things they will do together… : /
we have amazing family and friends who are helping us through these first weeks and lifting us up in prayer. thank you. we love each of you and can’t wait to introduce Graham to everyone we know!