i’m convinced God always has us in mind. and i’m very aware of this in the small things of life. i’ve been thinking about how usually you don’t know it’s “the last time.” when seasons change in our lives, it’s gradual, just like the seasons of the year. it’s not one day the trees are orange and red, and the next the earth is covered in snow. God has designed things to progress in a way that we are able to cope. slowly, the days get colder, and one by one, the leaves fall to the ground. snowflakes appear on crisp mornings and soon we are blanketed in white. [at least, this is how the seasons change in my corner of the world.] but this is how most of life happens.
when you graduate high school, you say goodbye to friends you’ve had your entire life. you have high expectations of seeing every one of these people again, soon. you make plans to meet up the following summer, and visit each others college towns. but before you know it, it’s been 6 years, and you realize you’ll never see most of those people ever again. it’s the same when you graduate college, or move to another state, leave a family Christmas, or change churches or jobs. but when the goodbye is happening, it never feels like forever. i think if we truly understood it, the pain would overwhelm us and we would never be able to part ways with anyone. and i’ve realized this is true with so many things.
i don’t think i will know when it’s the last time i’ll rock my child to sleep.
i won’t know it’s the last time they’ll beg me to sing “Jesus Loves Me”
i won’t realize when i’ve changed the last diaper.
you don’t realize you’ll never see some of your family ever again.
we will never know when it’s the last time we will see or hug someone dear to us.
i won’t know when my kids will stop asking me to read their favorite book.
i won’t know it when i feed my baby her last bottle.
i didn’t know it would never be the same when my brother moved out of the house.
we don’t realize that we’ll never have that exact group of friends laughing in that way ever again.
these things could be overwhelmingly sad, and i’m so glad i don’t get reminders on my phone saying “this is the last time. make sure you enjoy it.” because i would never be able to put my kids down. i would never stop holding my husband. i would stay up for days and days with close friends. i would hold dear to my grandparents every time i left. and i would weep for days about everything. God is so gentle with us. i am thankful for each moment i have with everyone in my life. moments are precious and dear, and they will never be re-created.
1Thessalonians 5:18- “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”